Angry Readhead

Your Management Advice For The Day

One of the most useful acronym I ever learned as a manager is the SMART acronym. SMART stands for:

Specific

Measurable

Action-Oriented

Realistic

Time-Bound.

Not so ironically the measurable aspect is the letter I tend to forget most often.  SMART is a way to measure your goals.  They need to meet all of the criteria in order to be reasonable.  Which leads us to my 101 in 1001 list.  Ahem.  It occurs to me that not all of my goals may meet these criteria.  Allow me to fix nearly 95% of the problem with this simple statement:  things that are supposed to occur on a weekly basis, the goal is to be doing it on a weekly basis by the end of the 1001 days.  For example:  the goal of cooking one authentic meal from around the world per week, is to be cooking one per week by the end of the 1001 days.  I know what you're thinking, "but Vickie, you can just cook one at the end, and say you've done it."  True, but I'm a little more honest with myself than that.  So lets say I've accomplished it if I've maintained it for a year, and I'm still doing it when the 1001 days are up.  That being said, next time I will be sure to use the SMART model for setting goals.  So I've learned, and learning is a good thing.

First 101 in 1001 Update

So you'll notice if you look very, very carefully, that my 101 are now on the right hand sidebar.  It dawns on me now that I now have several more goals that can go on the second attempt at this challenge (or possibly should have gone on this one).  Learn rudimentary HTML.  It was a lot harder to get the sidebar list exactly the way I wanted than I thought it would be.  Italics and crossouts are forthcoming.  Learn to make sensible goals.  If I actually computed the amount of money that these goals would cost me, I think I'd be less inclined to make some of them.  For all I know the list will cost me more money than I could reasonably make in 2.75 years.  That and I have probably set some goals that are far too lofty, and may be much more than anyone could accomplish in that short period of time.  I guess we'll see, as the purpose of any attempt at self-betterment is to learn.  Perhaps I will learn that I'm completely unrealistic about how much time is in a day, or my aptitude for learning.  Perhaps I will have underestimated myself.  We shall see. 

Maliciously and Unapologetically Stolen From Stitch Witch

Apologies to the Stitch Witch; but I think she'd be okay with this theft.  In the spirit of continuing to better myself, I give you 101 things in 1001 days.  And I link to day zero, a great way to get inspired to self-betterment.  I honestly believe self improvement to be the goal of every human existence.  If you're too lazy to click the link, the purpose is to accomplish 101 specific things, in 1001 days.  As I started this blog with a reading challenge (which I didn't quite accomplish) it is a natural evolution for it to turn into a me challenge, as it is easier to challenge me with my readers ( all seven of you) paying attention.  So here are the rules:

Creating your own 1001 Day Project

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.

2. Stay Focused. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.

3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.

4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.

5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

And Here Are The 101:

When I complete one I will cross if off.  If I am the process of completing one I will italicize it.

1.  get a job in a field that I love (honestly if it takes me a full 1001 days for this the rest of the list may be moot as I'll undoubtedly be institutionalized when I get the job)
2.  make at least $50,000 a year.  When I get there I'll probably want more, but it's a start.
3.  be in charge of a bookstore, including everything, the buck will stop with me.
4.  read 100 more books in 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die.  Mostly the classics.  I think I've read 47 so far, so that will bring the total to 147.

5.  move out of my parents house.  That's more at the sooner end of the 1001 days spectrum, that the later end.

6.  buy a house.  I think I'm more realistic about this now.  Thanks to some people who know more about home buying than I do.  And thank you to those who have told me their horror stories.  They are appreciated.  I did listen, but I think I'm going to do it anyway.
7.  buy a dog, or two.  The second one to keep the first one company while I'm at work.
8.  learn Spanish.  I don't know why, but learning languages has become more appealing lately.  Even though the older I get the more unlikely it is that I will be able to learn one.  I think that perhaps there is nothing wrong with my brain, but the methodology of every teacher who has ever attempted to teach me French.
9.  learn photography, and how to develop my own photographs.  I think Anne would probably teach me if I asked.
10.  lose 10 more pounds.  This is more of in the next 30 days sort of thing, but I might as well put it here too.  Keep it off.

11.  get into shape.  The sort of shape where you can bounce a quarter off my abs.

12.  exercise regularly.  At least 5 days a week, for at least 30 minutes a day.  Similar to 10 but not quite the same

13.  go back to the martial arts.  I know I've been saying this for years, but not studying martial arts is like ignoring the most important part of myself.  There was a time when I wanted the martial arts to be my life.  Now I'd just be happy to have it back in my life.  Again similar to 11 and 12, but not quite the same. 

14.  get a tattoo of a phoenix on my upper back.  The two things holding me back right now: I'm penniless, and I can't find the right design.  But those two things will change eventually and the tattoo will be mine.

15.  figure out my relationship with God (god?).  Lately I've been saying I'm agnostic, but I'm not sure that covers it.  Perhaps I won't know in 1001 days, perhaps I will.  Oh, and I've been told that saying you're spiritual without being religious is a cop out.  I tend to agree.

16.  learn to meditate.  Do it at least once a week.  Okay, everyone know how, but the problem is actually doing it.  My meditation bench is beginning to question it's reason for being.  This will help me with my wandering brain undoubtedly.

17. have 10 months of emergency money saved up.  Suze Orman is right.  That includes money for all expenses.  Just in case of a bad emergency.

18.  be totally credit card debt free.

19.  buy a car that goes zoom.  Currently I'm fixated on the Mini Cooper, but I'm not sure how it will do in the snow.  One of the models has a six speed transmission.  A sixth gear, that kicks ass.  It'll probably be used, but the payments will be lower that way, and I really don't have to have a new one.

20.  have enough collateral to get a loan to open a bookstore.  That would be about $300,000, worth of collateral for those keeping score.

21.  invest in real estate.  Right now that looks like buying something and then renting it to someone else.  I think that's the most financially viable way to go.  Plus it helps with number 20. 

22.  cook an authentic dish from around the world at least once a week.  This will work better when I have my own place.  That way i can have friends over and cook for them.  I will be able to maintain my weightloss that way.

23.  learn how to pair beer with food.  For help see Beer For Chicks.  Christina Perozzi, beer sommelier; one of the best jobs ever.  Pair beer from around the world, with food from around the world.  Perfect.

24.  learn how to pair wine with food.  Develop a more sophisticated palate.  Learn how to order wine from a restaurant.  Win friends and influence people.

25. take up some sort of holistic healing.  Something like massage, but more so.  I'll let you know when I get there.

26.  learn to truly listen.  I've been told I'm pretty good at it, but I'd like to be a totally unselfish listener.  To be able to listen without ever having the sensation of just waiting for your chance to talk.  To listen as an end in and of itself, not as a means to an end.  Pretty non-specific, but I'll know when I get there.

27. blog at least twice a month.  There is little point in having band-width if you are not actually using it.  And I'm tired of apologizing to my blog.  It's starting to feel like an abused spouse.

28.  make peace with my mistakes.  I used to think this was an act akin to epiphany.  But the older I get, the more I realize it's more of waking up and forgiving yourself on a daily basis.  I believe this will be a great step towards peace of mind.  Making sure I have learned from my mistakes of course, but not beating the dead Vickie, so to speak.

29.  learn to cook a vegetarian meal that is phenomenal.  Test on friends.

30.  try yoga.  This may or may not contribute to the fitness, weight loss and meditation goals.

31. figure out the difference between accept and except, so I don't have to avoid using them in type.  I have several other word usage issues as well, but none come to mind immediately.  Improve my English usage, and works choice overall.

32. learn to make furniture.  Be able to make at least one usable piece.

33.  learn how cars work, on a more intricate level than the gas pedal makes it go.  Be able to do my own rudimentary maintenance and repair.  Maybe simple body work?  Maybe not.

34.  plant a vegetable and herb garden.  Size and selection not particularly important.

35.  landscape a yard.  The yard at my home.  Not my parents.  Notice the distinction.

36. read at least 175 books.  This includes those from number 4.  As a result of this I will undoubtedly watch much less television; how tragic.

37.  have my own library.  Have one room of my house devoted entirely to books.

38.  start a cookbook collection.  Have cookbooks from at least 30 countries.  This will help with numbers 22 and 29 undoubtedly.

39. learn how to make really good barbeque.  The sort a barbeque that one tastes, and then feels it's okay to die, as no other experience could come close.  This includes all the fixins: cornbread, mac and cheese, potato salad.  Sorry I don't like baked beans, and I'm not a big fan of coleslaw.

40.  drink at least 64 ounces of water a day.  I try, but I'm not consistent.

41. buy/make a bar.  Learn how to make 10 decent drinks without using recipes.

42.  become flexible enough to touch my toes.  You laugh, but at present I can't do this.  And further, even if I could, I wouldn't be able to maintain it without working at it.

43.  learn to love my body.  I'm sure this will be easy if I lose a few pounds and get back in shape.  

44.  give up TV for a week.

45.  give up the computer for a week.  This will probably not be the same week as number 44.

46.  inspire at least two other people to make one of these lists.

47.  go to the doctor and have a physical.  I don't even want to guess at how long it's been.  I'd have to find a doctor too, as mine has retired.  That's fine I didn't like him anyway.  But I'll have to get insurance first.  For all I know, I may not have 1001 days to live, thus making this list impractical, but i doubt it.

48.  eat vegetarian for a week.  See how it makes me feel.  More physically than emotionally, but that enters into it too.

49.  buy really good tea.  Stop drinking the crap that comes in bags.  Admittedly there is some good bagged tea, but life is too short for mediocre tea.  Brew tea in metal pot.  A pretty metal pot.

50.  find decent green tea.  Drink one cup a day, from a pretty metal pot.

51.  buy an iPod.  Fill it with a wide variety of enriching music, including: rock, jazz, blues, r & b, rap, classical and world.  No country.

52.  bench press 100 pounds.  I have no idea what I can bench press now, so that's a pretty interesting goal.  I'm pretty sure it's more than 50 and I know it's less than 100 though.

53. buy a share in a local farm.

54.  watch a sunrise on purpose.  Not because I'm still up and could use a break from working, and not because I'm on the way to work.  Make the sunrise the only purpose of being up, not a break from something else.

55.  give blood.  Once or more than once.  It doesn't really matter.  But I can only commit to once, because I pass out easily.  That and I like tattoos, and you can't give for 6 months (I think) after getting a tattoo.  Oh and if I pass out I'll be disinclined to repeat the process.  i know, I'm a wimp.  I'll live with it.

56.  read a great religious book from at least 4 religions.  Christian fiction does not count.  Good thing too, I'd rather be tortured.

57.  donate to three different charities.  The amount does not matter.  The research and discovering a charity and causes to support do matter.

58.  save at least $100 per month.  Save at least $100 a week if living with parents.  This will begin once number 1 has been realized.

59.  start another retirement account.

60.  go back to library.  Visit it at least once per month (more often if I want to avoid late fees).

61.  abstain from alcohol for 2 weeks.

62.  fill a recipe book.  Okay just make one, and compile at least 100 recipes.

63.  drive to a state I've never been to.  Vacation there for at least 4 days.

64.  go to a foreign country.  Stay for at least a week.

65.  actually learn to speak French.  I'm not sure if I'd just be beating a dead horse, but why not try.  I'm thinking Rosetta Stone.  If that can't teach me nothing will.

66. donate my hair to Locks of Love; again.

67.  spend a day at a spa with a friend.  Perhaps several friends.  Now to find an acceptable spa.

68.  read a Harry Potter book in French.

69.  read a Harry Potter book in Spanish.

70.  start learning Latin.  Three languages in less than three years would be a bit much.  As for starting, buying a book and reading one chapter should cover it.  Or if there's a program for the computer one chapter there.

71.  buy a kick ass mattress and new bedroom set.  Partially stolen from Erica, and because the sleep number bed commercial is on again.

72.  buy 2 new pairs of Doc Martens, in a color other than black.  Inevitable yes, but some of these have to be give me's.  It's not learning a language, but it'll have to do.  

73.  take a flying lesson.  Just one.  When I get a job, I'm not going to have time for all this stuff.  Geez.

74.  go skydiving.  Again just once.

75.  learn to go to sleep before 4 am, without sleeping pills.  This shouldn't be a problem after i get a job.

76.  try 10 new restaurants.

77.  see 15 movies in the theater.

78.  clean out car, and learn to keep it clean.  Once it has been cleaned this shouldn't be a problem.  The same applies to any future car.

79.  rewrite business plan.  This applies to end of project, as I want it to be current then.

80.  go to another Red Sox game.  I used to go once a year when I was a kid, but haven't been in probably 18 years.

81.  go with my family to a Patriots game.  This would literally be the highlight of my dad's life.

82.  write a living will and discuss it with my loved ones.

83.  cull my clothes, boots, old borders tee shirts, and give things I don't need to charity.

84.  give 5 simple gifts to friends for no reason.

85.  make one new close friend.

86.  learn the 50 states.  I have most of them down, but not all of them.  I guess most 3rd graders are probably smarter than me, let alone 5th graders.

87.  learn rudimentary speed reading.  Increase reading speed from 40 pages a minute to 60 pages a minute.  Only continue to read this fast if it makes me happy.

88.  fly a kite on a breezy day.

89.  take one college course.  It can be physically at a school or on line.

90.  volunteer at a charity for at least one full work day (8 hours for normal humans).

91.  climb 3 mountains.  Or climb the same mountain 3 times.

92.  buy a bike.  Go on one 20 mile bike trip.

93.  buy the Godfather trilogy on DVD.  Watch it in one day while eating Italian food.  Invite friends.

94.  play in the rain on a summer day.

95.  find three occasions to wear a dress.

96.  donate my current car to charity.

97.  go one month without purchasing any non-necessities.  This includes books, and eating out.  This does not include paying bills, buying gas, or getting food to prepare for myself.

98.  read a book to a child.  Preferably a child I know, otherwise it could be weird.  Or I could gueststar at a storytime.  hmmm...

99.  go see an author speak.  Purchase the book and have it signed.  I've never done all three.  I've been too busy working the events to enjoy them.

100.  buy a beautiful, handmade leather bag.  Did I mention expensive?

101.  rewrite another list on the 1001st day, rolling over everything I could not finish.

So that's it.  Now I'm going to bed.  I'll start actualizing this list later.  I promise.  Oh and the final date for this project is: Thursday, November 10, 2011.  Countdown clock forthcoming.

The End of the World as we Know it; and it's Damn Damn Cold

So I figured I'd post some photos of what the fabulous ice storm did to my parents' yard.  Thankfully we got the power back on Sunday night, as it was 36 degrees in the house and none of us wanted to freeze to death while we slept.  My father, in a constant quest to prove he is strong and save money refuses to own a generator.  He also refuses to own a snow blower or fix our cracked chimney.  This is in part due to his overwhelming cheapness.  I would say frugality, but I myself am fairly frugal, but I am not obsessive about necessary spending.  This would probably be okay if we didn't live in an area of the country prone to hurricanes, ice storms, blizzards and all other power outage inducing natural disasters.   You can see where the chimney may have perhaps made this an almost bearable experience, but alas they was none, as my parents instead choose to spend what money could have been used to repair the chimney on replacement windows.  Let me tell you, once the temperature goes below 50 in your house, it doesn't much matter if you have double panes of glass on the windows.  Then you're considering burning the curtains for warmth.

This one is of our side lawn.  Please forgive the dates at the bottom.  I usually crop then out as it's not my camera, so I don't feel I should reset the settings, although I could and my parents would unlikely be able to restore them.
This is next to the side door.  On the bottom you can see the mat my father stands on while using his grill.
This is our back yard.  Note the clothes line.  You may find it to be somewhat different in the subsequent pictures, as contrary to my belief, the limbs were not done falling at this point.  Please do me the favor of ignoring all the clutter, as since this is not my house I couldn't, lets say on a weekend, get a giant dumpster and throw all the random piles of wood, rusted out pieces of metal, and car tires (seriously) away.  Not that I've though about it mind you.  Not at all.
This one is the front yard.  I think it truly captures the quantity and quality of stuff that fell upon us.  You can also see the house across the street.  Before this storm I had frequently commented on how horrible his front yard looked because he cut down all the trees.  Somehow I don't feel that way anymore.
This is the limb that fell on the deck while simultaneously smiting my mother's clothesline.  I can honestly say we weren't planning to hang many clothes out to dry until spring came back along anyway.  All told this was one of the only two things that actually sustained any damage.

This is my bother and my car.  You see the offending limb had the common decency to fall between the two cars, instead of on top of one or the other.  For that I am grateful.
My brother's car did not escape totally unscathed, but it wasn't as scathed as it could have been.  Now this does not mean that his world didn't go into full crisis mode, but hangnails and stubbed toes often cause similar reactions.
This is some of the ice on part of a fallen limb.  You can see it more than double the circumference of the smaller branches.  And that made the branches exponentially heavier than they were used to being.
  Which cause otherwise healthy trees to snap like rotten wood.  I do have more pictures, but eventually it's just like, oh look another broken limb.  It gets old pretty fast.

Those of you that know me, know I am an introvert.  I can honestly say that the worst part of this ordeal was the constant togetherness that ensued as a result.  Now that it is over, I am ecstatic not to have to spend so much quality time with my family.  They are the type of people that I imagine even extroverts would only be able to take in small doses.  Praise god I am finally able to be alone again.

Nothing Makes Me Happier Than Losing My Faith In Humanity

So, as an idealist I often find myself disappointed with the stupidity of others.  It's not just stupidity, because you can't necessarily hold someone responsible for being dropped on their head as a child.  You can, however, hold people responsible for willful stupidity.  Happily going through their days, ignoring anything but the shiny objects they need to collect so they have something to stare at and drool over. 

Which brings me to politics.  Ordinarily, I refuse to discuss politics unless I've had a few drinks.  Mostly because, as an idealist, politicians spend their entire careers intentionally trying to get me to lose faith in them.  They usually succeed pretty quickly.  And I don't believe that arguing over politics actually gets us anywhere.  Usually people just used to tell me that I'd understand when I was older.  Well, I'm older now and I still don't understand.  I still think the government should be there to provide a safety net for it's citizens in the event that they fall.  Sue me.  Call me a bleeding heart.  We bleeding hearts generally prefer other, less grizzly terms. 

Which brings us to the present election.  More specifically Sarah Palin.  Which is to say it's not her fault.  She is a strong women with strong beliefs.  Welcome to America, you can believe whatever you wish.  However, the next time I hear a woman say that she's a Democrat but she's going to vote for McCain, because she really likes Palin, as I did on this evening's news, I'm going to find her and strangle her.  Does said Democrat actually have any beliefs?  If so, do they in any way jibe with Palin's?  Here's the kicker, that Democrat has no idea.  When asked whether she agreed with Palin on the issues, she had no idea.  She had no idea what any of Palin's political beliefs were.  I wouldn't be upset if she actually found a common ground.  I am upset that she didn't even look for one before determining Palin was the candidate for her.  How far have women come from the age where we elected our leaders based on who was the most attractive?  Well let me point this out ladies, Palin is a card carrying member of the NRA, and pro-life.  If you're not interested in your reproductive freedoms and you'd like to be able to shoot someone to protect your property, then this is the candidate for you.  If these things sound scary, then perhaps we should vote the issues, not just for whomever is prettiest.

If I Ever Want To Return To The World Of Corporate Retail Somebody Stop Me Please

So it hasn't escaped me that if I want my dream of owning my own bookstore to come true, I may have to return to the workforce on some level.  Knowing what I'm good at, trained for, and what gives me joy, that would probably be in some sort of retail management capacity.  To that end, once I rid myself of the corporate noose that was sapping my will to do much of anything, I signed up for the fabulous folks at Monster to email me the appropriate job openings.  At that time, I didn't really feel like updating my resume, and posting it to their site, so I figured this was my best option.  Plus it keeps me in control, which is something most good managers want, or else they wouldn't manage.  Incidentally one of the reasons I left was the company wasn't really interested in letting me control much of anything, and god forbid I tried any sort of independent thought.  So after a very humorous false start, in which I was being emailed everything with the word manager in the title (nurse manager, project manager, and everything else I was utterly unqualified for), I actually began receiving jobs that made sense.  At least ones I was qualified for.  From these exciting jobs opportunities, I have learned several things: primarily PetCo is always looking for help, secondarily most companies look for help even if they don't have any specific openings, and thirdly corporate speak still makes my skin crawl. 

You see, when I first started working for the giant corporate behemoth, heretofore known as the ubiquitous B bookstore, it wasn't that corporate.  Unfortunately, it gradually became more and more corporate, culminating in the hiring of my late GM. Only known as such as it gives me great pleasure to think of him as dead in the career sense, not in the actual sense.  This is a rather congenial fellow, but the only thing he actually brings to the table managementwise, is an uncanny ability to translate normal language into corporate bullshit.  That is assuming that corporate doublespeak is actually a management skill.  It is not.  Which leads me to question why someone who obviously had no people skills, nor the ability to organize himself, nor the capability to motivate anyone to do anything they weren't otherwise inclined to do, was hired in the first place?  This is not to mention a complete unawareness of, or intentional disregard for, professional behavior.  The only reason he could have been hired was mastering the corporate language.  Any organization that would value this stupidity is not one that I would wish to be a member of.

So after I viewed a job posting for CVS, which included the phrases: "engaged store team", "build customer loyalty", and "leading by example, showing initiative, and a sense of urgency and being results driven", I realized I couldn't do it again.  I am left to wonder, what could one possibly be driven by if it isn't results?  And also left to state unequivocally, not a single company in America gives a shit if you are results driven.  Seriously, all they care about is that you produce results.  Can you produce results without being results driven?  Absolutely.  It's just that in those cases it tends to be the people under you busting their asses so the job gets done.  One may argue that that is not you producing the results, however, this is not a distinction that many companies care about.  They just want to know that they are getting the results, not that it much matters how. 

It's a delightful double edged sword that those in charge can also hold you accountable for their inability to do their jobs.  But that is a rant for another day, and one that I have already pretty much exhausted my ability to deliver.  But that's the great thing about me, I hate injustice.  I hate it most of all when it is enacted upon my person, but I imagine I am not alone in that respect.  I, however, have a very long memory, and an almost epic ability to hold a grudge.  But that is for another time.

Until that time is upon us, I leave you with some definitions from A Dictionary of Bullshit: A Lexicon of Corporate And Office-Speak, by Diane Law (it's a British bargain version so the quotes have a few extra q's and u's but the language is far more sarcastic than the American version so it's worth it):

business plan noun

a fantasy put forward in an attempt to hoodwink one's bank manager or a venture capitalist into signing a large, essentially blank cheque.

taking ownership verb

1. receiving something one has bought-taking delivery of a new car, for example.  2. buying into something; resigning yourself to the fact that there is a new paradigm at work and you'll be held accountable whether you give credence to the latest wave of management theory gibberish or not.

urgency, a sense of noun

1. a feeling that one is rushing to achieve something. 2. the impression that one is rushing to achieve something, all quick hand movements, earnest expressions, and bluster- the appearance demanded of workers that they should seem to care. 3. walking very rapidly around the office, in an attempt to convey one's importance.

Until I am able to realize my dream, I will instead read passages from this book and chortle loudly.  Granted that will not pay the bills, but at least it will keep me warm at night.

What I've Learned Since My Last Post

Many things, but not the least of which is:

No matter how enlightened your mother seems to be, when your gay uncle discusses men's online dating sites, she will have another drink.  And you thought your Easter was entertaining.  That was almost as good as when my Pepere (that's grandfather for all you non-French Canadian folks) declared that white people didn't get enough credit for the Civil Rights Movement.  I didn't of course offer that without white folks, the movement would've hardly been necessary.  That being said, for everything white people seem to need to take credit for, I think we can let the Civil Rights movement go.  I'm cool with what we already have.

And of course there's also this: the market for an independent bookstore, is get this people, people who buy books.  I'll give anyone who can actually define book buyers a dollar.  There is little reason to attempt such a stupid task, unless one is writing a business plan.  Don't get me wrong, I understand the need and necessity of writing a business plan.  As business tools go, it seems to be one of the most important ones.  You can use it to chart direction and progress for the life of your business.  And try as I might, I doubt any bank would give me a giant pile of money, if all I did was tell them I'm wicked smaht, and I promise I'll give the money back when I'm done.  That being said, one of the reasons I truly love bookselling is that everyone buys books.  People from all different walks of life, and income strata.  I think I can probably rule the homeless out of the target market, but that's all I can say for sure.

Then there was this: the clean scrubbed youth at CVS will give you any medication, just so long as you claim to be the person it's prescribed for.  I have gone to many different pharmacies before and picked up my mother's medication.  I highly doubt at any time that it would occur to me to attempt to abuse high blood pressure medication, or high cholesterol medication.  Vicodin, on the other hand would be lovely.  All you have to do is answer to someone else's name, and be adamant about it, and voila controlled substance.  If only there was a way to prove people actually were the people they said they were.  You know, like some sort of card that had your name and a picture of you on it.  Kinda makes you wonder why 18 year olds are in charge of the opiates doesn't it? 

Someone Needs To Hold Me Accountable

Though few have ever actually tried.  And let me point out that there is a difference between being assertive and overtly aggressive.  Generally people feel they have to be aggressive with me when managing me, or they just don't manage me at all.  Have I pointed out lately how 90% of those in positions of authority shouldn't be let in charge of anything that has more free will than a ham sandwich?  I promise I am somewhat likable, but as momma once said I don't suffer fools gladly. 

Where is this post going, you ask?  Glad you asked.  I'm presently unemployed.  Don't cry for me Argentina.  Although I acted of my own free will when I decided enough was most definitely enough, if I had hung on for a little while longer, I would most likely have been laid off and received seven weeks of severance pay.  It is somewhat comforting to know that I was able to leave on my own terms and not on someone else's, however.  Someone who doesn't suffer fools gladly rarely enjoys it when fools decisions impact her life.

I promise that this is going somewhere, and although I haven't received a paycheck in over a month, my money situation is okay, and more still seems to be coming in than going out.  I have no idea how this works, other than to say, that I actually spend so little money on myself, that I've created some sort of money black hole, where money just seems to end up in my bank account.  So I have recently resigned myself to working for an idiot.  Really, if my 90% theory works out, it's almost inevitable.  Bear with me, this is actually going somewhere.  I'd just like that particular idiot to be myself.

So that is where this post is going.  Fuck it, it's time to say it, er write it.  Because if I don't, I may have some excuse to let sanity prevail, and not do it.  I may use some sort of qualifier in the sentence that lets me off the hook, or allows me an out.  That would not be okay.  I'm opening a bookstore.  It may be the life decision that ensures a lifetime of pain and suffering.  I'm okay with that.  It couldn't possibly compare to the pain and suffering associated with working for a moron.

That's where accountability comes into play.  If there isn't someone there to hold me accountable, my ADD addled brain would just as soon watch TV all day long.  Yes I know it rots my brain.  It's just that my particular brain reacts well to visual stimulation, and not a hell of a lot to much of anything else.  That coupled with the essential lack of structure presently being imposed on me by the outside world, and essentially I just drool all day, with occasional drinking thrown in for effect.  Believe me, if there's anything out there to make you take a good long look at yourself, and determine that you're still as fundamentally broken as you were half a lifetime ago, it's unemployment.  So it's taken my over a month, but I've decided to hold myself accountable, in the only way I know how; to blog.  If I'm forced to report progress to the rest of the world, despite the fact that most of the rest of the world won't necessarily care about the progress, I'll be forced to actually make progress.  It's a good theory, and it may actually pan out.  Or I may just have a propensity for fucking off that defies description.  We shall see.  And now, to the business plan.

Rumors of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

I was only sleeping.  But seriously readers, if in fact there are any readers left, or were any to begin with, I promise to return with lots of things you didn't really know you wanted to know.  That sentence is begging for some sort of punctuation, but for the life of me I have no idea where to start.  But for right now, I think I'll have another cigarette, as the brother and father should be home soon, and I need to reclaim my rightful place on the couch.  So tune in tomorrow, and I promise to have tales to excite and tantalize.  They will probably involve car repair, or at the very least cleaning my car.

Random Political Insanity

I never thought I'd be upset by advances in medical technology.  But great news kids, because of our advances in medical technology, soldiers who are blown up in the war are much more likely to survive.  There have been 20,000 people injured in the war in Iraq.  How many of them have head injuries, amputations, or anything else that makes life a lot less fun to live?  The tragedy of this war is both those survive, and those that don't.  Not to mention the men and women who survive the war, only to take their own lives when they come home.  Stupid, stupid President.  That man shouldn't be allowed to control a Little League team, let alone the fate of an entire nation.

Rest assured boys and girls, this rant is not reserved for the conservative moron in charge.  Rich Liberals are equally as stupid.  Carbon credits.  Fucking idiots.  You're going to pay money so you can pollute the Earth a little more than usual, and in exchange a giant corporation will agree to pollute the Earth just a little less.  Nice try asswipe, if you really care about the planet, it's not about preserving the status quo, it's about improvement.  You don't get to feel better just because you didn't make anything worse.  You're supposed to be making things better.  Otherwise you're just a hypocrite.  Fly in a plane with other people.  Heck fly coach.  If you want to lead the people, try experiencing what they do occasionally.  You don't have to fire maid, or driver, but for Christ's sake, there's more of us than there are of you.  We're America, not you,you hypocritical jackoffs.

Burn the flag.  Burn it all you want.  What is more important, the symbol of the rights we have as Americans, or the rights themselves?  You can not say they are equally important.  It's just a symbol.  Burning it changes nothing.  Sometimes it is the only way to truly express how hideous our country can be.  We're a country run by rich, white, morons.  There is nothing else to say about it.  Sometimes you have to take the symbol of our country and burn it, because doing that is a lot better than the giant metaphorical shit that the powers that be take on the flag each and every day.  That is the last of this politically inspired tirade.  This station now goes back to its regularly scheduled apolitical programing.